Thursday, July 21, 2005
Dhe Day I Went Shawpin
Well, I thawt an thawt abowt my prawblum dhe hol nyt widhowt kumin up widh a slooshun. Pur Dawlee kudint gett too sleep widh dhe way I waws tawsin an turnin an in dhe end shee gawt down awf dhe bed an went too sleep awn dhe rugg. I am a gud mann, juss dhe way my muddur wawntid mee too bee, an so I doo nawt wawnt too leed enneewun up dhe gardin path. I thawt Maggee waws happee widh Mikee OHoolihan, butt furom dhe way shee waws lukkin at mee tooday it is nawt so. Juss a fyoo shawrt days ago I wud hav been pleesd too hav hur lukkin at mee lyk dhat, butt now I hav met Kameel I kan onlee tink awv hur. Isunt dhe mynd fikkul? I shud tell Maggee how I feel an maybee evun burring Kameel too meet hur, butt my trowsurs need soin agen wer dhe trypawd stuk intoo dhem, an maybee Maggee wont feel lyk dooin dhem iff shee nos its fur sumwun uddur dhan hur. Awn dhe uddur hand, I kant see Kameel widhowt werrin ennee trowsurs. So wawt I disydid too doo waws too go an by a nyoo perr awv trowsurs.
Wen I had lett Dawlee owt too go to visut hur frend Ramasays dhe Sevunth at Willyums farm, I gawt myself reddee an sett awf fur dhe town - unfawrchunaclee dher is nowerr in dhe villij wer yoo kan by a perr awv trowsurs. Dhe buss waws layt as yooshool, an wen it kaym alawng it waws awlmoss full furom dhe stawps beeforr myn, an I had too stand widh my leggs toogedhur dhe hol way. As I gawt down furom dhe buss I kud heer morr rippin furom dhe baksyd awv my trowsurs, an had too wawk awl dhe way down dhe street to dhe draypree shawp widh my bak agenst dhe wawl, wich mayd sum peepul hoo kudunt myn dher on bizzness luk at mee straynjlee as iff dhayd nevur seen sumwun widh a hol in his panss beeforr. An dhen, wen I gawt too dhe shawp at lass, wawsunt dher a syn awn dhe dorr sayin dhat it waws klosd dyoo too a breevment in dhe famlee.
I stud dher a lawng wyl wundrin wawt too doo now. I waws in a desprit sichooayshun now, as I kud feel dhe wind kumin ryt up throo dhe hol an I nyoo dhat soon dhe rest awv dhe trowsurs wud disintigrayt. But as luk wud hav it, I glanst up an saw dhat dher waws anuddur shawp akrawss dhe rod dhat waws opin. It waws a wimmins shawp, butt I thawt dhat beggurs kudint bee choosurs an praps dhay wud hav a perr awv jeens dhat wud fitt mee. Dhers plentee awv fyn bigg lassees goin rownd dhe town, lett mee tell yoo.
An so I waytid fur a brayk in dhe traffik an sett awf too dhe uddur syd. Butt dhe kows fur sum reesun objektid too my tryin too gett throo dhem an beegan too shy away furom dhe rod awntoo dhe payvmint, werr dhay awl gadhurd lukkin in dhe windos awv dhe shawps. Dhe wuns lukkin in at dhe kemists windo juss seemd intrestid in dhe pikchurs awv dhe wimmin widh dhe suntan loshun awn, butt dhe wuns hoo werr lukkin in throo dhe buchurs windo werr nawt so pleesd. Suddinglee dhay awl sett up a bigggg rakit, bawlin at wun anuddur, an dhen dhay awl tuk awf down dhe street awn mass, widh dhe farmers men runnin aftur dhem. Wen I tryd too gett owt awv dher way I kudint help slippin in sum awv wawt dhay had leff behynd dhem (litrellee) an now I waws an evun sorryur syt dhan beeforr. An wen I went too opin dhe dorr awv dhe shawp, dhe laydees awn dhe uddur syd beegan too leen agenst dhe dorr as iff dhay thawt I waws a robbur awr sumting an wuddint lett mee in.
I tryd too eksplayn too dhem widh syn langwij dhat I juss wawntid too by sumting too werr. It okurrd too mee suddinglee dhat dhay werr nawt tryn too keep dhe dorr shut butt too opin it beekaws it waws stuk, an so I beegan too kik agenst it dhe way dhay doo awn dhe tellee, butt widh no luk, fur dhe dorr reefyoosd too opin.
An too my hawrrur hoo did I see lukkin owt widh dhem butt Kameel, hoom I hadunt non wurkd dher. I reelysd dhat shee wud tink mee a reel wimp iff I kudint evun opin a littul dorr, an I kikkd it evun hardur. Dhen, luklee, hoo shud kum alawn butt my frends dhe gards, an dhay tol mee nawt too bawdhur widh dhe dorr an juss too go alawn widh dhem an dhay wud luk aftur mee. So I went widh dhem too dhe stayshun an dhay gayv mee a bol awv wawtur too wawsh widh an best awv awl a gards yoonifawrm too putt awn until I kud wawsh my on klos. An dhay lett mee hav a lydown in my old sell dhat iss reelee beeginnin too feel lyk hom, an brawt my old frend Q T too see mee, an dhen I went hom widh him. I lykd dhe yooniform so much dhat I hav disydid too joyn dhe gards toomorro.
Wen I had lett Dawlee owt too go to visut hur frend Ramasays dhe Sevunth at Willyums farm, I gawt myself reddee an sett awf fur dhe town - unfawrchunaclee dher is nowerr in dhe villij wer yoo kan by a perr awv trowsurs. Dhe buss waws layt as yooshool, an wen it kaym alawng it waws awlmoss full furom dhe stawps beeforr myn, an I had too stand widh my leggs toogedhur dhe hol way. As I gawt down furom dhe buss I kud heer morr rippin furom dhe baksyd awv my trowsurs, an had too wawk awl dhe way down dhe street to dhe draypree shawp widh my bak agenst dhe wawl, wich mayd sum peepul hoo kudunt myn dher on bizzness luk at mee straynjlee as iff dhayd nevur seen sumwun widh a hol in his panss beeforr. An dhen, wen I gawt too dhe shawp at lass, wawsunt dher a syn awn dhe dorr sayin dhat it waws klosd dyoo too a breevment in dhe famlee.
I stud dher a lawng wyl wundrin wawt too doo now. I waws in a desprit sichooayshun now, as I kud feel dhe wind kumin ryt up throo dhe hol an I nyoo dhat soon dhe rest awv dhe trowsurs wud disintigrayt. But as luk wud hav it, I glanst up an saw dhat dher waws anuddur shawp akrawss dhe rod dhat waws opin. It waws a wimmins shawp, butt I thawt dhat beggurs kudint bee choosurs an praps dhay wud hav a perr awv jeens dhat wud fitt mee. Dhers plentee awv fyn bigg lassees goin rownd dhe town, lett mee tell yoo.
An so I waytid fur a brayk in dhe traffik an sett awf too dhe uddur syd. Butt dhe kows fur sum reesun objektid too my tryin too gett throo dhem an beegan too shy away furom dhe rod awntoo dhe payvmint, werr dhay awl gadhurd lukkin in dhe windos awv dhe shawps. Dhe wuns lukkin in at dhe kemists windo juss seemd intrestid in dhe pikchurs awv dhe wimmin widh dhe suntan loshun awn, butt dhe wuns hoo werr lukkin in throo dhe buchurs windo werr nawt so pleesd. Suddinglee dhay awl sett up a bigggg rakit, bawlin at wun anuddur, an dhen dhay awl tuk awf down dhe street awn mass, widh dhe farmers men runnin aftur dhem. Wen I tryd too gett owt awv dher way I kudint help slippin in sum awv wawt dhay had leff behynd dhem (litrellee) an now I waws an evun sorryur syt dhan beeforr. An wen I went too opin dhe dorr awv dhe shawp, dhe laydees awn dhe uddur syd beegan too leen agenst dhe dorr as iff dhay thawt I waws a robbur awr sumting an wuddint lett mee in.
I tryd too eksplayn too dhem widh syn langwij dhat I juss wawntid too by sumting too werr. It okurrd too mee suddinglee dhat dhay werr nawt tryn too keep dhe dorr shut butt too opin it beekaws it waws stuk, an so I beegan too kik agenst it dhe way dhay doo awn dhe tellee, butt widh no luk, fur dhe dorr reefyoosd too opin.
An too my hawrrur hoo did I see lukkin owt widh dhem butt Kameel, hoom I hadunt non wurkd dher. I reelysd dhat shee wud tink mee a reel wimp iff I kudint evun opin a littul dorr, an I kikkd it evun hardur. Dhen, luklee, hoo shud kum alawn butt my frends dhe gards, an dhay tol mee nawt too bawdhur widh dhe dorr an juss too go alawn widh dhem an dhay wud luk aftur mee. So I went widh dhem too dhe stayshun an dhay gayv mee a bol awv wawtur too wawsh widh an best awv awl a gards yoonifawrm too putt awn until I kud wawsh my on klos. An dhay lett mee hav a lydown in my old sell dhat iss reelee beeginnin too feel lyk hom, an brawt my old frend Q T too see mee, an dhen I went hom widh him. I lykd dhe yooniform so much dhat I hav disydid too joyn dhe gards toomorro.
# posted by Galway Bart @ 12:06 am 
