Galway Bart's Fonee Dyree

Tee lass nyt widh Maggee wawsunt as much fun as I thawt it wud bee. Shee waws in a verree funnee mood wen I nawkd, askin mee wy I didunt juss kum throo dhe windo as yooshooal. Wen I reemyndid hur awv dhe wawk wee wer sposd too bee taykin in dhe mowntins, shee sed shee had herd I had sumwun els too go wawkin widh nowdays. Dhen shee askd mee if I had seen hur kat, beekaws hee had gawn missin. An dhen shee putt my teekup down in frunt awv mee. I waytid fur hur too putt a playt down aswell, butt dher seemd too bee nuttin els forthkumin.

At lass I waws so hungree I had too ask hur wer waws dhe tee. Shee poyntid too my kup an sed, I invytid yoo fur tee, an dher it is. So durink up. I nyoo dhen dhat shee waws krawss widh mee an dhat dher waws onlee wun ting fur it. Maggee, I sed, arnt yoo a terribul gerl awltoogedher, an I pulld hur awntoo my lap an gayv hur a biggg kiss. An shee gayv mee a bigggg slap, juss lyk in dhos filums in dhe sinma. Butt sinss I had seen lawts awv dhees I nyoo wawt I waws sposd too doo, an I gayv hur anuddur evun bigggggur kiss. An shee slappd mee evun hardur an dhen wee fell awf dhe cher an ontoo dhe kat, hoo had sneekd bak wen wee wer bizzee. An hee gayv an awful skreech an jumpd bak owt dhe windo. An Maggee gawt up an stud dher lukkin at mee juss lyk Mawreen Oharra yoosd too luk at Jawn Wayn, sawrt awv haff angree an haff in luv widh him an I suddinglee reelysd dhat I waws in trubbul. Bekaws I am now a mann widh too gerls afftur him, wun I reelee luv (my nyoo wun furom dhe beech, Kameel) an wun I need too mend my trowsurs. I kan see Im goin too hav too tink dhis wun owt verree kerrflee.